Can You Teach Your Children Gratitude?
November 16th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
Every parent wants their children to be grateful. After all, grateful children are a lot easier to please, tend to be more helpful, and are more pleasant to be around. But how do you teach children gratitude? Or is it something they just have to learn for themselves?
The other day we overheard a conversation between a mother and daughter. The daughter asked her mom for a new toy. When the mom said no, the daughter started making a fuss. Expected, right? Most kids make a fuss. But it was the mother’s reaction that surprised us. She smacked her daughter on the hand and said, “Be grateful for what you’ve got.”
Now, we may not be the experts, but we hardly think telling a child to be grateful – at a moment they are feeling disappointed – is the best way to handle the situation.
Here are some ideas we’ve come up with for teaching children to be more grateful:
1) Make them work for what they want. We can all accept the idea that if we’re given everything, we’ll never learn to appreciate it. Doing chores and taking part in family responsibilities goes a long way in helping children realize that not everything in life comes easily. And if you have your children earn their own money, toys, or other rewards through helping with chores, they’ll learn to appreciate both the chance to the work and the things they buy.
2) Show them how lucky they are. If you’ve ever gone to a homeless shelter, hospital, or government-sponsored after school program, then you’ve seen people who are in some pretty tough circumstances. Now, unless you’re totally heartless, you wanted to help. Why not have your children round up some old toys or clothes and then go with you to donate them? The gratitude of the receivers should help your children feel more grateful for their own circumstances.
3) Encourage/insist they donate. If you’ve been using myjobchart.com, then you know children can donate some of their earnings to worthy causes (like Operation Smile). You could set up charity as a requirement and then encourage your child to research what charity they might like to donate to. Or, give them the option of donating their time at special events or service projects.
4) Reinforce the feeling once they experience it. Let’s say your child is saving their allowance to buy a basketball. But then, on their birthday, grandma brings a basketball as a present. As soon as your child realizes he no longer has to use his chore money to buy a basketball, talk to him about it. Say things like, “Isn’t that great that you can have a basketball and still keep your own money?”
5) Tell them how grateful you are. Even if you have assigned your children chores, thank them frequently for getting the chores done. Mention your appreciation when a neighbor or friend does something nice for you. If you’re a person of faith, let your children see you pray and express gratitude. Children learn by example.
Gratitude is not a trait you can force on someone. And unlike learning how to cook or clean or become financially responsible, gratitude isn’t something you can just learn one day. As a parent, it is your responsibility to encourage your children to learn positive traits. We think the five listed above will help. In what other ways can you help your children develop gratitude? Feel free to comment below.
Operation Smile Added to My Job Chart Charities
October 25th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
As parents, it’s so important for us to teach our children to be kind, charitable and responsible – all at the same time. So when MyJobChart was created, it was built with a SHARE area. The SHARE area allows children to donate some of their allowance (or other rewards) to various charities.
This opportunity to be charitable is entirely up to the child. They can make their own choices about how much of their reward they should keep and how much they are willing to give to others.
Because we believe charity comes from seeing the needs of others, MyJobChart offers several charities to choose from. And now, we’re delighted to announce that Operation Smile has just joined our list.
Operation Smile is an international charity that helps children with facial deformities. With the money they receive from contributions, Operation Smile provides these children with corrective surgeries. This charity was formed in 1982 as a response to the many children born with cleft palates or cleft clips.
Operation Smile is currently serving in over 60 countries, providing children with the help their families can’t afford to get for them. It’s a life-changing surgery that could mean the difference between success in life and struggling.
If you’re looking for a job chart that incorporates other opportunities (such as a chance to learn charity), then you need to try Myjobchart.com. It’s free, it’s easy, and it provides your children with a great chance to learn new attributes.
Cooking Safely with Kids
October 5th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
As you’re well aware, being a parent includes a lot of responsibility. This blog is intended to cover all aspects of parenthood. We’ve been delighted by the interest the MyJobChart.com blog has received. And we’re even more delighted to share an article from a guest blogger and avid reader of this site…
Submitted by Dan Gilbert on behalf of Primrose Schools. For over 25 years, Primrose has helped individuals achieve higher levels of success by providing them with an AdvancED® accredited, early child care services and preschool education.
Young children are often enthralled with the goings on in ‘mom’s’ kitchen. The act of cooking or preparing a meal can stimulate all five senses, which makes the kitchen an exciting place to be. Many parents are afraid to let their children in the kitchen while they are cooking due to the potential hazards but this needn’t be the case. Dr. Mary Zurn, vice president of education for Primrose Schools says kitchen time can be a great way for families to regain some lost, but valuable, family time.
Throughout the nation, kitchens are a gathering place for families. Stories of the day are shared, jokes are told, lessons are learned and quality time is spent. What many parents don’t take into account is that children often learn a sense of responsibility when they are asked to participate in small, daily chores.
By following these simple tips, parents can ensure that the kitchen is a safe, fun, learning place to be for children of all ages:
1. Give your child tasks to complete. Young children can easily tear lettuce for a salad or snap peas for a side dish. Sprinkle salt or pepper into your child’s hand and let them add it to the pot. Allowing your young children to help in a meaningful way will give them a sense of accomplishment. If you have toddlers, let them ‘cook’ along with you on their own play oven or give them a bowl and spoon and let them bang away. Not only will your toddler be occupied but you’ll know exactly where they are while you’re cooking.
2. Establish rules. Make sure that children understand that the stove top and oven are hot and shouldn’t be touched without permission. Hands should be washed before and after touching any food stuffs and place child safe covers over any gas knobs. Make a habit out of facing pot handles inward so that they aren’t inadvertently hit and knocked over, spilling hot liquids, sauces or food onto little fingers and toes.
3. Teach new skills. Once your child has mastered easy tasks like tearing lettuce, help them build upon their skills. For example, teach your child how to handle a knife by allowing them to cut through a soft stick of butter. Children who are able to read can help you follow recipes by reading them aloud to you and, when older, by using those recipes themselves.
4. Relax! Before you allow your child into the kitchen, particularly to help you, take a moment, remind yourself that there are bound to be spills and mistakes and then go for it. Time in the kitchen should be fun and mistakes are easily corrected. Your child’s time with you in the kitchen can easily be ruined if you are too hard on them.
5. Don’t forget to clean up! This is a good way to instill the importance of engaging in daily chores. If your child sees first hand what it is like cleaning up the kitchen alone, they will better understand that it will make everyone’s lives easier if they share in the tasks. Sweeping, doing dishes, and cleaning counter tops are all daily activities that need to be done, as well as after cooking or baking. Other activities, like taking out the trash, are important for a child to learn and take part in doing.
When your time preparing the meal, snack or dessert in the kitchen is complete, make sure to compliment your children for doing such a good job and watch them swell with pride. Before you know it, you’re child is going to be offering ideas on what you can make together next; encourage their creativity and help foster a love of cooking that they can carry with them into adulthood.
A Job Chart for Every Family Situation?
September 27th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
As we approached the blog today, the question came up: are these posts (and the free service MyJobChart provides) valuable for every family? After all, not every family is the same. In fact, we were recently given a link to a great “statistics” blog entry from Medicalbillingandcoding.org.
This blog post talks about the diversity of families, and what has changed over the years. Some of the things we found interesting included:
-The increase in the number of stay-at-home dads
-The average amount of time working women still spend taking care of the house
-The number of single parent families
This information was interesting because more than ever it supports the need for a chore chart. But it also helped us realize:
Generic chore charts do not work for most families. You’ve got to find a chore chart that works for you. Whether you’re a single mother who already has a full schedule, or you have a two parent family with one parent at home, your needs are unique. Printing off a pre-determined chore chart is very rarely going to fit your lifestyle. That’s one of the great things about MyJobChart.com…it can be easily changed and adapted to meet your child’s abilities, skills, and how much help you need from them.
You need a chore chart that is easy to create and change. The number of working women has increased significantly over the last few years. Parents are busier and trying to create and manage a chore chart from scratch can be time consuming. With Myjobchart.com, putting your chore chart together and managing your child’s rewards (or lack thereof) is a piece of cake.
You need the ability to check in anytime, anywhere. With more parents at work, keeping an eye on your children takes more time and more effort. With a job chart that you can check from any computer, you can take a break at work and check up on your child’s efforts. Plus, Myjobchart.com means you never lose your chart or end up crossing out or adding new chores.
Can you have a blog post (and, of course, a product) that successfully meets the needs of every type of family? We sure think so. If you haven’t tried Myjobchart.com yet, you really need to take some time and check it out. For every type of family, it’s the perfect solution for guiding your family and helping them become more responsible.
Your Children Crave Responsibility – Give It to Them
July 12th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
Have you ever tried to take a week off? Not on vacation, but just staying at home, doing nothing all day long? It’s kind of nice for a day or two, right? But before long, you start to notice little things:
- The shelves haven’t been dusted in a few weeks
- That towel rack in the bathroom is coming loose
- There’s a growing pile of clothes that need to be mended
- There’s a broken sprinkler that’s affecting the water pressure
Before you know it, your week off is now a honey-do vacation. You, of your own free will, have just given yourself chores. And how do you feel when the chores are done and you return to work? Fantastic!
The natural instinct of fixing and cleaning that you have is something your children are just starting to develop. They don’t want to sit around either. And although they may whine and make a fuss about doing their chores on a regular basis, they want to feel a sense of accomplishment and responsibility.
Let me give you some examples where I’ve witnessed this lately:
-3 young, homeschooled children had the day off because both their parents had to work. Rather than spend their time playing video games the kids all researched topics that they could teach one another.
-After helping her mother in the garden, a little girl asked if she could plant a garden of her own.
-After their father built a new playhouse, two young kids went to work sweeping the floor and carefully arranging their toys.
Your children crave responsibility. They want to do things that are useful and appreciated. And you can cultivate that characteristic. Give them a chance to be responsible.
If your child informs you that the towel rack in the bathroom is loose – tell him to fix it. If your young child is hungry, encourage her to fix a snack and make enough for all the others in the house. If one of your kids steps on a sharp object in their bedroom, hand them the vacuum.
No, this is not the traditional way of doing chores. But not all chores have to be assigned. In fact, if you’re waiting for all the chores to get done so you have a clean house, you’ll always be waiting for something. Giving your children more responsibility and teaching them to act when something needs doing will develop great characteristics and help you as parents maintain a well-run home.
Should Children Use Their Allowance for “Special Occasions”?
June 20th, 2011 - Category: Money, Uncategorized
Father’s Day was yesterday. And if you’re like me, you’ve received all kinds of cards, ties, tools, and other manly gifts. At first, your wife undoubtedly purchased your presents. Once children understood the meaning of the holiday, they drew pictures for you. But now, with your child a little bit older, and making an allowance, what are you getting and who is paying for it?
Seems problematic, doesn’t it? You and your children determine what chores they will complete. You decide what items they will purchase with the money they earn and which things you’re willing to pay for. But in all the time you spent discussing allowances and expenses, you probably never factored in gifts.
But just look at this list of possible gifts your child might need to cough up some cash for:
-Birthdays (for family and friends)
-Father’s Day
-Mother’s Day
-Christmas (for mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, and friends)
Ouch! It’s difficult for us as adults to spend money on wedding gifts and shower presents. So is it fair to expect a child to pay for special occasions? Sure, they’ll be expected to as adults. But do you want their efforts at completing their chores to be the means whereby they show their love to friends and family right now?
Alright, I’ll be the one to say it: it isn’t fair. Then again, neither is paying $5 to $20 for your child’s best friend’s birthday party. Especially if you have more than one child and they have more than one best friend.
So is there a comfortable solution? Not really. But here are some great ideas for making this a learning experience (even if you have to fork out some cash).
Limit gifts to $5. Offer to give your child $5 for those special occasions. If they choose to spend more, let them spend their own money. A decent gift can be purchased or made and you’ll hardly notice the five bucks from your wallet. What you may notice is that your child becomes more aware of how much things cost and look for bargains.
Offer them extra chores. You don’t want to be a scrooge, but you can’t just hand out money either. Let them learn what you already know…extra expenses require extra work on your part. Make sure they understand the difference between regular chores and allowance and the chance to make some extra money. Extra is extra.
Keep a box of options. Have you ever picked up random items at a garage sale, or held on to toys, clothes, and gifts your children have outgrown? Well, if they’re in good condition, you should keep a box of those extra items to be used as gifts for friends or younger siblings. If your children need a gift for someone, allow them to rummage through box and see if anything will work. No one needs to know you’re in the habit of re-gifting. Have your child pay you what you paid for the item. (If it’s a hand-me-down, then obviously it would be free).
Help your children think of “Free” gifts. With enough thought, your children can up with some pretty good ideas. And no, we’re not talking about an “I Owe You” booklet either. You could teach your daughter to sew and have her make a blanket out of dad’s favorite, old shirts. An older brother could spend some time in the garage turning a simple piece of wood into a sling-shot for a younger brother. Sometimes, homemade items make the best gifts.
And of course our best advice is…avoid special occasions altogether. No, we’re kidding. But this is going to be a learning experience for both you and your children. As you work together, you can come up with solutions that will work without being too unfair to any one party.
Good luck and happy…whatever the occasion is.
Can You Add Excitement to Chore Charts?
June 14th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
It would be so nice if our children woke up every morning eager to do their chores. What if they looked forward to responsibility the same way they look forward to Christmas or a trip to Disneyland? Okay, that would be a little bit weird. But it would be fun if children looked at their chore list with – if not enthusiasm – a lack of whining.
But how do you do that?
We’ve never tried this ourselves, but in an effort to bring fun and creative ideas to you, we came up with these ideas. How to make the chore chart more enjoyable. Yes, enjoyable. Here are the thoughts we came up with:
Give them creative freedom. Children need to feel needed. And they need to feel appreciated. What if you were to give the responsibility of repainting a room or refinishing a coffee table to your child? Of course, they need to be old enough to accept the task. But it’s their home, too. Why not give them a chore they have complete say about? You want that table refinished anyway, right?
Give them a chore to plan a family activity. You know how much work goes into planning anything. Why not invite your child to take the initiative. Imagine how much fun they’ll have when they look at a chore chart and read, “pack for a weekend camping trip” on the top of their list.
Make the chore itself enjoyable. Let’s say you’ve assigned a child to clean the closet or fold the laundry. Then, before they’ve had a chance to complete their chore, you leave them a little surprise – like a bag of candy or a new game they’ve been wanting. They do their chores because they are asked or because they get an allowance, but there’s nothing stopping you from using it to show how much you love them.
Give them a chore that isn’t a chore. If it’s been a while since you spent quality time with your child, write “date with mom or date” in place of vacuuming or sweeping. It’s a great way to give your children a break while building your relationship with them. Of course, you’ll want to hold them to it. Get them to really go on that date with you. Otherwise, there was no point in exchanging the chore for quality time.
Team up with the neighbor. Kids always enjoy doing things with their friends. And it’s just possible that doing chores with friends would make them easier to complete. Team up with the parents of a neighbor kids and decide how the two children can work together to get a job done. Maybe this week they can paint your fence and next week they can till the ground for the neighbor’s garden. But have them do it together. The work with go faster and will be more exciting.
As a parent, and a child at one point, you know that the biggest complaint in cleaning and maintaining a house is that it always has to be done. There is never any end in sight. It’s mundane and boring. So why not use a little bit of creativity and shake things up a bit. It may improve the way your children (and even you) feel about completing their chores.
And, if you’re looking for a way to manage chores, be sure to check out MyJobChart.com if you haven’t already. And let us know if you have tried or have any ideas for making chore charts more exciting by posting in the comments below.
Should You Control What Your Kids Spend Their Allowance On?
June 7th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
During a recent grocery store visit, a little boy picked up a package of candy and said, “Mom, can we get this?” The mother said no and continued her shopping when the boy ran up to her, bag of candy still in hand.
“But mom,” he said this time, “I still have $3 at home. Can I buy this?” The mother relented and added the bag of candy to her grocery cart.
Now, your mind is probably racing. You may have already formed some opinions about this situation, but here are a few more details: the boy was only 6 or 7 years old and was noticeably overweight, the mother’s cart already included several snack foods, and the bag of candy was at least two pounds.
So where does a parent’s responsibility lie? Should the mother stop her child from purchasing something he wants with his own money? Or, should she let him determine how his money should be spent? Will he miss out on important financial lessons if his parents stop him from moving forward with bad choices?
In all honesty, we don’t have any answers to those questions. Partially because each child is different and will likely react differently to parental interference and partially because there are lessons to be learned either way.
So what is the answer?
Our take is that you help your child make choices about how to spend allowance money before situations like these ever come up. One of the things we love about MyJobChart.com is that it does so much more than just help kids track their chores. It allows them to save money, put money towards purchases they would like to make, and even donate money to those in need.
By spending a little extra time with our children as we create their chore chart, we can help them make good decisions ahead of time. We can monitor their choices and make positive suggestions.
Are they still going to want a bag of candy at the grocery store? Absolutely. But with their allowance being distributed online, they don’t have extra cash lying around. And the excuse of “Well I have my own money,” is replaced only with a request.
If you have not tried MyJobChart.com yet, you may want to look into it. It certainly has changed the dynamics of chores, allowance, and spending habits in many homes. And is well worth a try.
MyJobChart.com featured on KTAR.com, Yahoo! Finance, App News Bureau and More!
June 3rd, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
MyJobChart.com is sure making a splash. We’ve recently been featured in several prominent locations throughout the country.
Most recently we were seen on:
KTAR.com – which provides the Arizona valley with news and sports talk. In this article, MyJobChart.com was credited as a way to keep kids busy during the summer break.
Yahoo! Finance, App News Bureau, several local newspapers, and online business journals – these sources all talked about the recent endorsement we received from Suze Orman. You remember reading about that, right?
And in addition to all these sites, we have also been talked about on dozens of “mommy blogs”.
In other words, the word is spreading and we are so grateful to you for helping us spread the message.
A Missing Piece in the Allowance-for-Chores Puzzle
May 24th, 2011 - Category: Uncategorized
Today on MSN, there was a great article that we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to comment on. The article was written by Liz Westin and outlined these three research study results:
-Kids who received allowance were no more likely to save their money than kids who did not.
-Unconditional allowances seemed to be correlated to lower literacy scores and less chances of having work experience before graduating from high school.
-Many kids who receive allowance look at is as entitlement money.
That’s a lot of information to take in. And it really makes you wonder which is better: giving your children an allowance or encouraging them to make their own money. Or does it make any difference at all. Because this seems to be a no-win scenario.
After reading the comments and thinking about the success so many families have had with MyJobChart.com, we came to the following conclusions:
- Assigning chores and rewarding your kids with an allowance is not enough. Children still need you to teach them critical lessons about saving, spending, and being financially responsible. Sometimes it may be difficult for you to reveal, but sharing some of your own financial burdens with your children will help them understand what it will be like on their own.
- You need to make chore and allowance decisions together. If your children don’t understand the connection between doing their chores and being rewarded with an allowance, they won’t experience that job-salary connection either. Once they’re old enough, sit down with your kids and discuss what they think is fair in both the chores they do and the allowance they receive. And let them give some input about the types of activities/purchases they should be responsible to pay for.
- Reinforcing financial lessons will always be a good idea. You are going to have moments when your kids come begging for money. Whether it’s to go to the movies or to buy a video game, they will want more money than they’ve saved. You’ve got to decide how you will handle those situations and what lessons you want your children to learn. It will be difficult to stick to your guns but there are lessons to be learned.
- Realize that circumstances will change. Be aware of your children and the changes they are making in their lives. What works this year may not be the best solution next year. Especially when your children get more involved in school and with friends.
- Consider not giving cash as allowance. How else are you going to give your kids their hard-earned money, right? When you deposit money into a saving account or use a system like MyJobChart.com, your children have to really think about what they want before spending their money. Cash is too easily burned through. With MyJobChart.com, your kids have the option of saving, saving for something, spending, or even giving some of their money to charitable causes. And you get some insight into what money decisions they’re making.
The article we read today did make us pause. Obviously every parent wants to make sure they aren’t wasting money on their children. And they’d like their children to learn great lessons. With the tips we shared, we feel confident you can make good decisions and be pleased with the results you see in your children.