How to Keep Your Kids Reading
August 16th, 2011 - Category: Kids and Reading
We’ve already written a few articles about the benefits of kids reading. And in those articles we gave you all kinds of facts about how kids that read perform better in school. So we’re not going to rehash that information. Today, we want to focus on how difficult it is to get kids to read.
Sure, you may have a child or two or even three who read voraciously – perhaps to the point that you wish they’d get outside and do something else. But not all of us are that lucky. For many parents, just putting kids and reading in the same sentence sounds like wishful thinking.
So what makes the difference between the two? What would cause one kid to want to read and another to do everything they can do avoid it?
Here are some thoughts:
Your attitude toward reading is going to affect how your children feel about it. If they see you pick up a book once in a while, they may engage in the same behaviors. However, if you’re like most parents, you come home from a long day of work and just want to vegetate. So you flip on the t.v. instead. That’s understandable behavior. But if that’s what you’re determined to do day in and day out, then expect the same attitude from your children.
Also, many children seem to have preconceived notions that reading is boring, or tough, or a waste of time. It’s important for parents to make a positive correlation between reading and their kids. One way to accomplish that goal is to give them something enjoyable to read. If they’re not into the classics, don’t hand them Robinson Crusoe.
Getting kids to read is as simple as buying them a monthly magazine subscription. “Highlights” has some great stories for younger children. And once your kids hit those teenage years, feel free to give them “Seventeen” magazine or something similar. No, fun magazines may not stimulate your child’s intelligence. But any kind of reading is going to be beneficial to your children.
You may also want to try playing some games. Scrabble and other word games may encourage your child to read a little more often and pick up a larger vocabulary. Seeing their parents take an interest in them can really do a lot to help encourage kids. You may ask them to help you complete a word puzzle or crossword. Play spelling games in the car and try to just have fun with words.
If nothing else works, then add reading to your child’s chore chart. When reading becomes a chore and they refuse to do it, go ahead and make it a chore. Whether they enjoy it or not, at least your children will be getting the full benefits of reading.
If you have not settled on a chore chart yet, then please consider MyJobChart.com. It gives you a lot more flexibility with your children and what they are capable of accomplishing.
Don’t make the assumption that just because your kids are in school they are learning everything they need to know. Get your kids reading more now. And if you have to make reading a part of the chores, then by all means try it.
Should Reading be a Chore?
February 8th, 2011 - Category: Kids and Reading
It’s every parent’s dream – to have a child that loves to read. But for most parents, that isn’t the case. Many kids would rather do just about anything else than read a book. But as a parent, can you ignore the benefits of getting your kids to read?
Studies have shown that children who read more have better language skills. They tend to do better in math, history, and other school subjects. They learn concentration skills. And children who read are more likely to achieve greater success in life.
So now we get to the heart of the matter. You want your child to experience the benefits of reading. They may have other plans. So should you make reading a chore? And go so far as to include it on their chore chart?
Well, if they’re not going to read on their own, then absolutely. Make it a chore. Like cleaning their room or taking out the trash, kids will learn valuable skills from completing their chores that will help them later in life. But here are some ideas for helping your child achieve success with their reading chores:
Set specific goals. Unlike doing the dishes or vacuuming the house, there is no natural stopping place for reading. For reading to work as a chore, you must clearly identify how long the child should read, what they should read, and have some plan in place to test their comprehension. (Having a book open for 20 minutes doesn’t mean your child is actually reading it.)
Let your child choose what they read. You don’t want to be a dictator, and it would be really great if your child learned to love reading on their own. The best way to foster that possibility is to let your child choose something of interest to them. Of course, after the tenth comic book, you may need to step in and give them something else to try for a few days.
Logically reward your child for reading. Although most the jobs on your chore chart may be rewarded with an allowance, reading is different. Sure, it can be lumped into the allowance category, but you may want to consider additional rewards. For example, after reading Harry Potter or The Chronicles of Narnia, you may have a family movie night. Let your child tell you how things were different in the book than in the movie. Extra rewards tied to reading will show your child how much you value the time they spend in front of a book.
Always have new things to read. Theoretically, chores should make life for the parents easier. But when it comes to reading, you may need to do a little leg work. Frequently take your child to the library. Let them see the choices they have and allow the librarian to get them excited about a story or new book. Giving your child the freedom to explore and choose books on their own will encourage their efforts.
Several articles we’ve read say that forcing a child to read doesn’t work. They should be guided toward choosing books over video games or television. But how many children are strong enough to withstand the appeal of Mario Cart or Wii Tennis?
It may turn out that your children love to read…they just love their Playstation more. If you make reading a chore, you get your children in the habit of building life-long skills. If they never learn to like reading, what can you do? You tried. But at least they’ll still receive the benefits of having read during that assigned time.
At least, that’s our belief. But we want to know your opinion. Do you think reading is an acceptable chore?
Teaching Good Behavior Without Harsh Discipline
April 22nd, 2010 - Category: Behavior Advice
Have you ever felt sometimes like you just want to give up on being patient with your kids? Believe me you’re not alone. It can be very frustrating when the little guys mess up and don’t do exactly what you would like them to do. Of course it is for their own benefit, you feel, that they DO do what you want them to do. You want them to be happy by making good choices.
Oftentimes, as a parent, you feel like you can see the consequences of certain actions a little better than your children because of your age and experience. Though it can be difficult, the truth is that harsh discipline only seems to make things worse. I have had the chance to see both sides of the spectrum as I’m sure most of you have. They are vastly different and I really do feel like one is better than the other.
Effects of Harsh Discipline
Consistent harsh discipline seems to bring out the worst in children. If they hear “you’re stupid,” “you little brat,” or “you’re gonna get it” too often they eventually will begin to believe what they hear and it can completely ruin their confidence and/or self-esteem.
In a research article by Dr. Bahr Weiss (Vanderbilt University) and colleagues, Dr. Weiss states that, “Structural equation modeling indicated a consistent relation between harsh discipline and aggression in 2 separate cohorts of children.” Further, Dr. Weiss suggests that, “our analyses suggested that the effect of harsh discipline on child aggression may be mediated at least in part by maladaptive social information processing patterns that develop in response to the harsh discipline.”
So harsh discipline doesn’t seem to be a positive method of teaching the kids to behave. But, what do we do when they really push it too far? How do you control your urge to get mad, yell and criticize when things get out of control? We’ve listed some things below that may be able to help. You can read more into these suggestions by visiting www.parentingpeacefully.com
Some Alternatives
1. Plan ahead (Pick 3 things that tip you off and set goals to do better when those events happen)
2. Write in a journal (keep it handy so you can jot down behaviors that make you upset when they occur. It gives you time to think and not react suddenly/harshly)
3. Express yourself (Instead of going off, tell them exactly how you feel when they do something.)
4. Mommy timeout (…sometimes even grownups need to take a few and relax to think about what’s going on and how to make it better)
5. Use 1 word (This is for repetitive misbehavior. Pick a word that the child will recognize is associated with the incidence. Instead of going off when they forget to make their bed just say, “BED!”)
6. Laugh (find a way to make the situation funny)
7. Learn what to expect from your children (different age levels bring different behaviors and it is unrealistic to expect too difficult of behaviors from children at certain ages.)
Hope you enjoyed this post and got some ideas. Please feel free to share you thoughts and ideas with us and the community. Happy parenting… and don’t forget to assign those chores!
Behavior Advice | How to Manage Tantrums and Fits
March 18th, 2010 - Category: Behavior Advice
One of the most difficult decisions parents must make together is how to handle tantrums and fits from their children. I say together because that is exactly what should occur, both husband and wife should determine together, before tantrums ever even happen, exactly what they will do when their child begins to throw fits (and they WILL throw fits).
Every Child Will Eventually Throw a Tantrum/Fit
It is inevitable, but everyone eventually gets disappointed to the point where it throws them a little off their rocker. It is a normal tendency, especially of toddlers, to begin acting up and throwing fits to see if they can change a situation in their favor. Do not take offense and don’t be disheartened when this happens. Tantrums can be embarrassing (especially if they are in public) and they can be very frustrating for parents. This is why it is important to keep your cool. Your frustration will only add to the child’s flame and then two or three people are frustrated instead of only one. Here are some helpful hints to help manage temper tantrums and fits when they occur.
Be Patient
It is vital that you do not raise your voice or let the tantrum throw YOU into a tantrum. Be patient and calm when the child begins to act up. This will show them that their actions are not changing anything and they will begin to realize that alternate means of communication might be more effective.
This is easier said than done, especially in a public setting. However, it is even more vital that you do not react any differently in public than you would at home. Do not, under any circumstances, offer them incentives, bribe, threaten, or punish them. Simply encourage them to be quiet and wait it out. If it is necessary, quietly scoop them up and take them outside until they are ready to calm down.
Time Out
At home, it may sometimes be necessary to put a child in “time-out.” This could be a corner or a room in the house where they are isolated and have time to release energy and get it all out until they are ready to calm down and be reasonable.
This specified area should be a consistant location. You should not change where time-out is ever. Also, it is important that this location not be the child’s room or play area but rather a designated area known by both you and the child. Remember that yelling or threatening is still not evident here. If the child gets out of hand, calmly ask them to go to time-out until they are ready to discuss the matter in a reasonable fashion.
Express Love
It is more important than ever, under a tantrum type of circumstance, to show your love for the child that is throwing the fit. As a parent, it is very easy to lose our cool in these instances and say/do things that we don’t mean. Remember to stay calm and tell them that you love them.
I remember as a child when I use to blow up when I didn’t get something that I wanted or something didn’t go my way. I would storm to my room and scream uncontrollably until I lacked the energy to scream anymore. Precisely at that moment, when the screaming had stopped, I would hear my father’s footsteps coming down the hall. He wouldn’t come in as I wasn’t ready for that yet, he would simply stand outside the door, say that he was sorry (even though it was never his fault) and tell me that he loved me no matter what. I will always respect my father for those simple acts of kindness and love that he showed towards me in those times of difficulty.
Discuss the Problem After the Fit (Reconcile)
Finally, it is vital that you do not let the matter go after the child has calmed down. If the problem is not addressed then it will likely evolve to become a problem again in the future and the cycle will keep revolving. Instead, after the tantrum has subsided, approach the child, or have him/her come to you and discuss what went wrong. Try to reconcile the situation so that both you and the child are at a mutual understanding of why things are the way they are. Listen to their side. REALLY listen to what they have to say and don’t get mad or offended. Let them know that you really do care what they have to say and then calmly explain your side of the story. This will limit the potential for the tantrums to reoccur and increase the likelihood of you and your child growing closer as a result.
What are some ideas that you have regarding how to handle tantrums? What has or hasn’t worked for you and why? Please share with us and the community your thoughts in the comments section below.